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Thread: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

  1. #1
    Virginia Tadrzynski Guest

    Default Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

    I normally have very few complaints about my husband, but today, well,
    today, I am looking for a way to disjoint him and pickle his sorry behind
    and stash him on a shelf somewhere.

    I finally got in the mood to make some marmalade. When I started to get out
    my equipment, I couldn't find my big blue enamel BWB pot. I looked high and
    low, and I finally found it in the store room half filled with water. Then
    I heard a 'plink, plink'. The cad is using it to 'catch a drip' he was
    supposed to fix last weekend. So, there it will sit until he 'gets around
    to it', or so he says. What really coats my biscuit is that he is 'Mr.
    Fix-it'......he completely rebuilt a porch for a little old lady in the
    church who just asked for help painting it (he says why paint rotten wood,
    when he could just as easily replace it and have it outlast Mildred). He
    just did a lot of work at the new addition at church as well. He will go do
    what his father needs, etc. and if the neighbor calls, he's off like a
    flash. He is very adept at what he does. Me, I'm sitting here, treading
    water wanting my damn pot back!
    -ginny



  2. #2
    Melba's Jammin' Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

    In article <4a2d3a44$0$2716$[email protected]>,
    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]> wrote:

    >I couldn't find my big blue enamel BWB pot. I looked high and
    > low, and I finally found it in the store room half filled with water.
    > Then I heard a 'plink, plink'. The cad is using it to 'catch a
    > drip' he was supposed to fix last weekend. He is very adept at what
    > he does. Me, I'm sitting here, treading water wanting my damn pot
    > back!


    > -ginny


    Mountain out of molehill, Virginia. Get an ice cream pail (or dish pan
    or pail) and swap out your canning kettle. You can set an alarm for
    him that will remind him to empty it on a regular basis, maybe every 12
    hours. Find out how adept he really is.
    --
    -Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
    http://web.me.com/barbschaller - good news 4-6-2009
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
    -Philo of Alexandria

  3. #3
    Dave Balderstone Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

    In article <4a2d3a44$0$2716$[email protected]>, Virginia
    Tadrzynski <[email protected]> wrote:

    > I normally have very few complaints about my husband, but today, well,
    > today, I am looking for a way to disjoint him and pickle his sorry behind
    > and stash him on a shelf somewhere.


    Wrong approach, Virginia.

    A husband is like a good quality carpet. Lay it properly, and you can
    walk all over it for years.

    ;-)

    --
    Kiva - Loans that change lives.
    http://www.kiva.org/lender/david87375440

  4. #4
    Kathi Jones Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?


    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <t[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:4a2d3a44$0$2716$[email protected]..
    >I normally have very few complaints about my husband, but today, well,
    >today, I am looking for a way to disjoint him and pickle his sorry behind
    >and stash him on a shelf somewhere.
    >
    > I finally got in the mood to make some marmalade. When I started to get
    > out my equipment, I couldn't find my big blue enamel BWB pot. I looked
    > high and low, and I finally found it in the store room half filled with
    > water. Then I heard a 'plink, plink'. The cad is using it to 'catch a
    > drip' he was supposed to fix last weekend. So, there it will sit until he
    > 'gets around to it', or so he says. What really coats my biscuit is that
    > he is 'Mr. Fix-it'......he completely rebuilt a porch for a little old
    > lady in the church who just asked for help painting it (he says why paint
    > rotten wood, when he could just as easily replace it and have it outlast
    > Mildred). He just did a lot of work at the new addition at church as well.
    > He will go do what his father needs, etc. and if the neighbor calls, he's
    > off like a flash. He is very adept at what he does. Me, I'm sitting
    > here, treading water wanting my damn pot back!
    > -ginny
    >
    >


    been there....done that - my hubby fixes computers ...everyone else's, but
    mine. I could suggest getting your pot and overturning it on his
    head, but that kind of behaviour gets frowned upon. I like Barb's idea -
    it'll annoy the hubby and remind him it needs to be taken care of - soon.
    But, Dave's idea will work too......I also know this from experience, ;-)

    Kathi




  5. #5
    Mimi Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

    Oh boy...

    All good ideas. I've had the same problem with my Hun Bun. He's a
    good guy. I just decided a while back that he will get around to
    fixing whatever needs fixing. No nagging from me. Why should I
    worry??? Of course, if he even thought of using any of my canning
    stuff for other purposes, I'd remind him what a good shot I was the
    last time we went to the shooting range. (I saved the target paper
    with the bullseye I shot--it's proudly displayed on the fridge)

    : - )


  6. #6
    zxcvbob Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

    Mimi wrote:
    > Oh boy...
    >
    > All good ideas. I've had the same problem with my Hun Bun. He's a
    > good guy. I just decided a while back that he will get around to
    > fixing whatever needs fixing. No nagging from me. Why should I
    > worry??? Of course, if he even thought of using any of my canning
    > stuff for other purposes, I'd remind him what a good shot I was the
    > last time we went to the shooting range. (I saved the target paper
    > with the bullseye I shot--it's proudly displayed on the fridge)
    >
    > : - )
    >



    I used to keep targets hung on the wall at my office. (New York based
    gun-hating employer.) When I moved to a new office I didn't hang them
    back up, but I did put an NRA "Expert" marksmanship award on the wall.
    It's in a nicer frame than the employee recognition award next to it.

    I just finished framing a NRA "Sharpshooter" certificate with 8 bars
    (that's 2 levels less than the "Expert" certificate I already have, but
    this one is with a .38 revolver rather than just a .22 target pistol) to
    hang up on Monday.

    No threat whatsoever is implied nor intended. Just a subliminal
    reminder that I'm a pretty good shot ;-)

    Back to the *original* post: just swap out a plastic bucket for the
    canner, no harm, no foul.

    Bob

  7. #7
    The Joneses Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

    "zxcvbob" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]..
    > Mimi wrote:
    >> Oh boy...
    >>
    >> All good ideas. I've had the same problem with my Hun Bun. He's a
    >> good guy. I just decided a while back that he will get around to
    >> fixing whatever needs fixing. No nagging from me. Why should I
    >> worry??? Of course, if he even thought of using any of my canning
    >> stuff for other purposes, I'd remind him what a good shot I was the
    >> last time we went to the shooting range. (I saved the target paper
    >> with the bullseye I shot--it's proudly displayed on the fridge)
    >>
    >> : - )
    >>

    >
    >
    > I used to keep targets hung on the wall at my office. (New York based
    > gun-hating employer.) When I moved to a new office I didn't hang them back
    > up, but I did put an NRA "Expert" marksmanship award on the wall. It's in
    > a nicer frame than the employee recognition award next to it.
    >
    > I just finished framing a NRA "Sharpshooter" certificate with 8 bars
    > (that's 2 levels less than the "Expert" certificate I already have, but
    > this one is with a .38 revolver rather than just a .22 target pistol) to
    > hang up on Monday.
    >
    > No threat whatsoever is implied nor intended. Just a subliminal reminder
    > that I'm a pretty good shot ;-)
    >
    > Back to the *original* post: just swap out a plastic bucket for the
    > canner, no harm, no foul.
    >
    > Bob


    'Course if y'all *wanta* foul, just use his micrometer calipers to glue/hold
    craft projects together, and then use his Craftsmen screwdrivers to open
    plant stuff outside and leave them on the patio in the rain. Stand on his
    motorcycle helmet to wash windows. I've nivver evir done such evil myself,
    preferring a full blown hissy fit and get it over with. Ah, but one can
    dream...
    Love,
    Edrena



  8. #8
    pheasant16 Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

    Dave Balderstone wrote:
    > In article <4a2d3a44$0$2716$[email protected]>, Virginia
    > Tadrzynski <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    >> I normally have very few complaints about my husband, but today, well,
    >> today, I am looking for a way to disjoint him and pickle his sorry behind
    >> and stash him on a shelf somewhere.

    >
    > Wrong approach, Virginia.
    >
    > A husband is like a good quality carpet. Lay it properly, and you can
    > walk all over it for years.
    >
    > ;-)
    >


    Yep!! We're like dogs; very simple creatures. Food, water, and a
    little attention and we are eager to please our master.

    --

    "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are
    evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."
    Albert Einstein

  9. #9
    George Shirley Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

    The Joneses wrote:
    > "zxcvbob" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]..
    >> Mimi wrote:
    >>> Oh boy...
    >>>
    >>> All good ideas. I've had the same problem with my Hun Bun. He's a
    >>> good guy. I just decided a while back that he will get around to
    >>> fixing whatever needs fixing. No nagging from me. Why should I
    >>> worry??? Of course, if he even thought of using any of my canning
    >>> stuff for other purposes, I'd remind him what a good shot I was the
    >>> last time we went to the shooting range. (I saved the target paper
    >>> with the bullseye I shot--it's proudly displayed on the fridge)
    >>>
    >>> : - )
    >>>

    >>
    >> I used to keep targets hung on the wall at my office. (New York based
    >> gun-hating employer.) When I moved to a new office I didn't hang them back
    >> up, but I did put an NRA "Expert" marksmanship award on the wall. It's in
    >> a nicer frame than the employee recognition award next to it.
    >>
    >> I just finished framing a NRA "Sharpshooter" certificate with 8 bars
    >> (that's 2 levels less than the "Expert" certificate I already have, but
    >> this one is with a .38 revolver rather than just a .22 target pistol) to
    >> hang up on Monday.
    >>
    >> No threat whatsoever is implied nor intended. Just a subliminal reminder
    >> that I'm a pretty good shot ;-)
    >>
    >> Back to the *original* post: just swap out a plastic bucket for the
    >> canner, no harm, no foul.
    >>
    >> Bob

    >
    > 'Course if y'all *wanta* foul, just use his micrometer calipers to glue/hold
    > craft projects together, and then use his Craftsmen screwdrivers to open
    > plant stuff outside and leave them on the patio in the rain. Stand on his
    > motorcycle helmet to wash windows. I've nivver evir done such evil myself,
    > preferring a full blown hissy fit and get it over with. Ah, but one can
    > dream...
    > Love,
    > Edrena
    >
    >

    I'm amazed at the love and devotion found in the members of this
    newsgroup. Why, Lands Sakes, Miz Anne and I never argue at all. I just
    tell her what to do and she does it immediately.

    And, if y'all believe that I have a big bridge that is for sale cheap.

  10. #10
    George Shirley Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?

    pheasant16 wrote:
    > Dave Balderstone wrote:
    >> In article <4a2d3a44$0$2716$[email protected]>, Virginia
    >> Tadrzynski <[email protected]> wrote:
    >>
    >>> I normally have very few complaints about my husband, but today,
    >>> well, today, I am looking for a way to disjoint him and pickle his
    >>> sorry behind and stash him on a shelf somewhere.

    >>
    >> Wrong approach, Virginia.
    >>
    >> A husband is like a good quality carpet. Lay it properly, and you can
    >> walk all over it for years.
    >>
    >> ;-)
    >>

    >
    > Yep!! We're like dogs; very simple creatures. Food, water, and a
    > little attention and we are eager to please our master.
    >

    Actually Confucius had it right when he said, "A woman is like a gong,
    they should be beaten frequently to keep them in tune."

    That was said very much tongue-in-cheek of course. <G>

  11. #11
    Kathi Jones Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?


    "The Joneses" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:d2HYl.28664$[email protected]..
    > "zxcvbob" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]..
    >> Mimi wrote:
    >>> Oh boy...
    >>>
    >>> All good ideas. I've had the same problem with my Hun Bun. He's a
    >>> good guy. I just decided a while back that he will get around to
    >>> fixing whatever needs fixing. No nagging from me. Why should I
    >>> worry??? Of course, if he even thought of using any of my canning
    >>> stuff for other purposes, I'd remind him what a good shot I was the
    >>> last time we went to the shooting range. (I saved the target paper
    >>> with the bullseye I shot--it's proudly displayed on the fridge)
    >>>
    >>> : - )
    >>>

    >>
    >>
    >> I used to keep targets hung on the wall at my office. (New York based
    >> gun-hating employer.) When I moved to a new office I didn't hang them
    >> back up, but I did put an NRA "Expert" marksmanship award on the wall.
    >> It's in a nicer frame than the employee recognition award next to it.
    >>
    >> I just finished framing a NRA "Sharpshooter" certificate with 8 bars
    >> (that's 2 levels less than the "Expert" certificate I already have, but
    >> this one is with a .38 revolver rather than just a .22 target pistol) to
    >> hang up on Monday.
    >>
    >> No threat whatsoever is implied nor intended. Just a subliminal reminder
    >> that I'm a pretty good shot ;-)
    >>
    >> Back to the *original* post: just swap out a plastic bucket for the
    >> canner, no harm, no foul.
    >>
    >> Bob

    >
    > 'Course if y'all *wanta* foul, just use his micrometer calipers to
    > glue/hold craft projects together, and then use his Craftsmen screwdrivers
    > to open plant stuff outside and leave them on the patio in the rain.
    > Stand on his motorcycle helmet to wash windows. I've nivver evir done such
    > evil myself, preferring a full blown hissy fit and get it over with. Ah,
    > but one can dream...
    > Love,
    > Edrena


    ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!


    >
    >




  12. #12
    Virginia Tadrzynski Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?


    "The Joneses" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:d2HYl.28664$[email protected]..
    > "zxcvbob" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]..
    >> Mimi wrote:
    >>> Oh boy...
    >>>
    >>> All good ideas. I've had the same problem with my Hun Bun. He's a
    >>> good guy. I just decided a while back that he will get around to
    >>> fixing whatever needs fixing. No nagging from me. Why should I
    >>> worry??? Of course, if he even thought of using any of my canning
    >>> stuff for other purposes, I'd remind him what a good shot I was the
    >>> last time we went to the shooting range. (I saved the target paper
    >>> with the bullseye I shot--it's proudly displayed on the fridge)
    >>>
    >>> : - )
    >>>

    >>
    >>
    >> I used to keep targets hung on the wall at my office. (New York based
    >> gun-hating employer.) When I moved to a new office I didn't hang them
    >> back up, but I did put an NRA "Expert" marksmanship award on the wall.
    >> It's in a nicer frame than the employee recognition award next to it.
    >>
    >> I just finished framing a NRA "Sharpshooter" certificate with 8 bars
    >> (that's 2 levels less than the "Expert" certificate I already have, but
    >> this one is with a .38 revolver rather than just a .22 target pistol) to
    >> hang up on Monday.
    >>
    >> No threat whatsoever is implied nor intended. Just a subliminal reminder
    >> that I'm a pretty good shot ;-)
    >>
    >> Back to the *original* post: just swap out a plastic bucket for the
    >> canner, no harm, no foul.
    >>
    >> Bob

    >
    > 'Course if y'all *wanta* foul, just use his micrometer calipers to
    > glue/hold craft projects together, and then use his Craftsmen screwdrivers
    > to open plant stuff outside and leave them on the patio in the rain.
    > Stand on his motorcycle helmet to wash windows. I've nivver evir done such
    > evil myself, preferring a full blown hissy fit and get it over with. Ah,
    > but one can dream...
    > Love,
    > Edrena
    >
    >


    Using the tools and leaving them out in the weather....ah, that's what I
    have a teenaged and post-teenaged boy for. Borrow Dad's tools and leave
    them where they lay. Nah, I just tell the kids where his 'secret stash' of
    goodies is and sit back and wait for the fireworks when he finds out all the
    'goodies' that he thought no one knew he had nor did he acknowledge having
    disappeared (if he denies they exist, can they 'really' be gone?). I just
    consider this revenge of the good sort, as he is starting to resemble a
    weeble and needs to go on a diet.....see I'm just 'helping'.
    -ginny



  13. #13
    Virginia Tadrzynski Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?


    "George Shirley" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:S4MYl.10118$[email protected]. .
    > The Joneses wrote:
    >> "zxcvbob" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    >> news:[email protected]..
    >>> Mimi wrote:
    >>>> Oh boy...
    >>>>
    >>>> All good ideas. I've had the same problem with my Hun Bun. He's a
    >>>> good guy. I just decided a while back that he will get around to
    >>>> fixing whatever needs fixing. No nagging from me. Why should I
    >>>> worry??? Of course, if he even thought of using any of my canning
    >>>> stuff for other purposes, I'd remind him what a good shot I was the
    >>>> last time we went to the shooting range. (I saved the target paper
    >>>> with the bullseye I shot--it's proudly displayed on the fridge)
    >>>>
    >>>> : - )
    >>>>
    >>>
    >>> I used to keep targets hung on the wall at my office. (New York based
    >>> gun-hating employer.) When I moved to a new office I didn't hang them
    >>> back up, but I did put an NRA "Expert" marksmanship award on the wall.
    >>> It's in a nicer frame than the employee recognition award next to it.
    >>>
    >>> I just finished framing a NRA "Sharpshooter" certificate with 8 bars
    >>> (that's 2 levels less than the "Expert" certificate I already have, but
    >>> this one is with a .38 revolver rather than just a .22 target pistol) to
    >>> hang up on Monday.
    >>>
    >>> No threat whatsoever is implied nor intended. Just a subliminal
    >>> reminder that I'm a pretty good shot ;-)
    >>>
    >>> Back to the *original* post: just swap out a plastic bucket for the
    >>> canner, no harm, no foul.
    >>>
    >>> Bob

    >>
    >> 'Course if y'all *wanta* foul, just use his micrometer calipers to
    >> glue/hold craft projects together, and then use his Craftsmen
    >> screwdrivers to open plant stuff outside and leave them on the patio in
    >> the rain. Stand on his motorcycle helmet to wash windows. I've nivver
    >> evir done such evil myself, preferring a full blown hissy fit and get it
    >> over with. Ah, but one can dream...
    >> Love,
    >> Edrena
    >>
    >>

    > I'm amazed at the love and devotion found in the members of this
    > newsgroup. Why, Lands Sakes, Miz Anne and I never argue at all. I just
    > tell her what to do and she does it immediately.
    >
    > And, if y'all believe that I have a big bridge that is for sale cheap.


    Is that the bridge Miz Anne lets you sleep under when you sass her?
    -ginny



  14. #14
    Mike Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?


    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:4a2d3a44$0$2716$[email protected]..
    >I normally have very few complaints about my husband, but today, well,
    >today, I am looking for a way to disjoint him and pickle his sorry behind
    >and stash him on a shelf somewhere.
    >
    > I finally got in the mood to make some marmalade. When I started to get
    > out my equipment, I couldn't find my big blue enamel BWB pot. I looked
    > high and low, and I finally found it in the store room half filled with
    > water. Then I heard a 'plink, plink'. The cad is using it to 'catch a
    > drip' he was supposed to fix last weekend. So, there it will sit until he
    > 'gets around to it', or so he says. What really coats my biscuit is that
    > he is 'Mr. Fix-it'......he completely rebuilt a porch for a little old
    > lady in the church who just asked for help painting it (he says why paint
    > rotten wood, when he could just as easily replace it and have it outlast
    > Mildred). He just did a lot of work at the new addition at church as well.
    > He will go do what his father needs, etc. and if the neighbor calls, he's
    > off like a flash. He is very adept at what he does. Me, I'm sitting
    > here, treading water wanting my damn pot back!
    > -ginny
    >
    >

    how about replacing it with something else? Sounds like the poor guy could
    use the help



  15. #15
    Mike Guest

    Default Re: Any recipes for how to preserve a husband?


    "pheasant16" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected] ...
    > Dave Balderstone wrote:
    >> In article <4a2d3a44$0$2716$[email protected]>, Virginia
    >> Tadrzynski <[email protected]> wrote:
    >>
    >>> I normally have very few complaints about my husband, but today, well,
    >>> today, I am looking for a way to disjoint him and pickle his sorry
    >>> behind and stash him on a shelf somewhere.

    >>
    >> Wrong approach, Virginia.
    >>
    >> A husband is like a good quality carpet. Lay it properly, and you can
    >> walk all over it for years.
    >>
    >> ;-)
    >>

    >
    > Yep!! We're like dogs; very simple creatures. Food, water, and a little
    > attention and we are eager to please our master.
    >


    Nonsence!!!!!!!! blow jobs are what we want!



    >
    > "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are
    > evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."
    > Albert Einstein




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