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Thread: For TJ, parody song idea

  1. #1
    Somebody Guest

    Default For TJ, parody song idea

    "Who Let the Farts Out? Who, Who, Who?"

    You could collaborate with the Al, and Townsend & Daltrey. Just try and
    leave your ego at the door, and not in the recording; I know you are a man
    that likes his farts. Let me know and I can try and setup some VCs. My
    people will get with your people. How is next Tuesday afternoon at 2?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He82NBjJqf8



  2. #2
    Tommy Joe Guest

    Default Farts for Breakfast

    On Oct 10, 9:06*am, "Somebody" <e...@mail.au> wrote:



    >
    > "Who Let the Farts Out? *Who, Who, Who?"
    >
    > You could collaborate with the Al, and Townsend & Daltrey. *Just try and
    > leave your ego at the door, and not in the recording; I know you are a man
    > that likes his farts. *Let me know and I can try and setup some VCs. *My
    > people will get with your people. *How is next Tuesday afternoon at 2?




    My farts come slow the older I get. I miss the boomers. I think
    I have a blockage in my intestines that will not allow the farts to
    roll out en masse. They have to squeak their way through. Still, now
    that I'm older and feeling more generous with an "oh what the hell,
    I'm gonna die soon anyway" attitude, I am able to reveal one of the
    secrets that have allowed me to live a healthy life regardless of the
    many bad habits I had. I did it by eating a handful of farts each
    morning.

    It's not an easy dish to make. It's not cooking per se, it's
    more like hunting. You've got to corral the farts as soon as they
    come out of the asshole. The nutrients in farts die quickly as the
    farts hit the air, so they must be scooped up quickly and eaten to get
    the full nutritional blast.

    Drink a hot glass of water with a tablespoon of honey and
    vinegar blended in, then lie down and wait. As you feel the farts
    about to emerge, get into a sitting position with your hips arched
    forward to raise your asshole off the sheets. Now, as the farts
    emerge, reach down with two hands and catch the invisible buggers in
    the palm of your hand and swiftly raise it to your mouth and inhale
    into the throat only, then swallow. Not easy to do. But once you
    accomplish this once-daily ritual, you will know the energy and
    fearlessness of your youth.

    TJ

  3. #3
    Somebody Guest

    Default Re: Farts While you Sleep

    "Tommy Joe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]..

    TJ
    ---

    my ex claims I used to fart in my sleep. But I don't think so... When I
    wake up, well-- I'm usually kind of bottled up when I get up in the
    morning.




  4. #4
    Brooklyn1 Guest

    Default Re: Farts for Breakfast

    Tommy Joe <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > My farts come slow the older I get. I miss the boomers. I think
    >I have a blockage in my intestines that will not allow the farts to
    >roll out en masse. They have to squeak their way through. Still, now
    >that I'm older and feeling more generous with an "oh what the hell,
    >I'm gonna die soon anyway" attitude, I am able to reveal one of the
    >secrets that have allowed me to live a healthy life regardless of the
    >many bad habits I had. I did it by eating a handful of farts each
    >morning.
    >
    > It's not an easy dish to make. It's not cooking per se, it's
    >more like hunting. You've got to corral the farts as soon as they
    >come out of the asshole. The nutrients in farts die quickly as the
    >farts hit the air, so they must be scooped up quickly and eaten to get
    >the full nutritional blast.
    >
    > Drink a hot glass of water with a tablespoon of honey and
    >vinegar blended in, then lie down and wait. As you feel the farts
    >about to emerge, get into a sitting position with your hips arched
    >forward to raise your asshole off the sheets. Now, as the farts
    >emerge, reach down with two hands and catch the invisible buggers in
    >the palm of your hand and swiftly raise it to your mouth and inhale
    >into the throat only, then swallow. Not easy to do. But once you
    >accomplish this once-daily ritual, you will know the energy and
    >fearlessness of your youth.
    >
    >TJ


    Wouldn't it be a lot easier if you slept with Bwrrrryan?

  5. #5
    Tommy Joe Guest

    Default Re: Farts While you Sleep

    On Oct 11, 6:42*am, "Somebody" <e...@mail.au> wrote:

    > my ex claims I used to fart in my sleep. *But I don't think so... *When I
    > wake up, well-- *I'm usually kind of bottled up when I get up in the
    > morning.



    You mean after all these years in this hi tech age they have not
    yet come up with a fart counting machine? That's hard to believe. Or
    an odor-meter that measures the reek of the fart the way chile peppers
    are ranked for heat. The lonely fart is left to fend for itself in a
    world of hi tech chaos. It is the lone voice of sanity humming in the
    blustering overtones of the future. The fart lives on. Forever.

    TJ

  6. #6
    Tommy Joe Guest

    Default Re: Farts for Breakfast

    On Oct 11, 1:50*pm, Brooklyn1 <Gravesend1> wrote:

    > Wouldn't it be a lot easier if you slept with Bwrrrryan?




    In my 30s - no exaggeration - I farted probably 500 times a day.
    Pretty impressive when you consider that I held some in around certain
    people. That was the worst, having to fart and not being allowed.
    Now I live alone and have no one or no thing to hinder my desire to
    fart, yet I cannot fart. Oh the irony, oh the injustice. Really
    though, I do think there's something amiss with my guts as not only
    the farts but also the turds are emerging with a sluggish anti-gusto
    attitude that has me annoyed and worried at the same time. You know
    how taking your last breath could be a really horrible moment? The
    last breath to go out and nothing comes in return. At that moment of
    intense personal despair, surely a nice long booming fart would take
    the edge off. Perhaps the greatest tranquilizer ever - the human
    fart.

    TJ

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