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Thread: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

  1. #1
    Virginia Tadrzynski Guest

    Default Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to you for
    your consideration:

    You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You are waited on very well by
    many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a generous tip to
    either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that the tip be
    spread around accordingly. At a later date, you go to the same restaurant,
    the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the staff treats you as
    if you were dirt under their feet. You tip again, the same way as before,
    but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of one of you kids works
    there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a row. The only explaination
    is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the
    others 'no tip for you'. What would you do?

    Discuss among yourselves.

    -ginny



  2. #2
    cshenk Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    "Virginia Tadrzynski" wrote

    > You tip again, the same way as before, but find out thru the grapevine
    > (aka a friend of one of you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the staff
    > twice in a row. The only explaination is that the head/maitre'd is
    > pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for you'.
    > What would you do?


    Tip the normal way, along with the folder with the bill. More controlled
    than slipping cash to the maitre'd (who may have thought it was for him if
    he didnt catch to spread it among the staff).



  3. #3
    cshenk Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    "Virginia Tadrzynski" wrote

    > You tip again, the same way as before, but find out thru the grapevine
    > (aka a friend of one of you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the staff
    > twice in a row. The only explaination is that the head/maitre'd is
    > pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for you'.
    > What would you do?


    Tip the normal way, along with the folder with the bill. More controlled
    than slipping cash to the maitre'd (who may have thought it was for him if
    he didnt catch to spread it among the staff).



  4. #4
    Virginia Tadrzynski Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject


    "cshenk" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:N5Q7k.1863$%[email protected]..
    > "Virginia Tadrzynski" wrote
    >
    >> You tip again, the same way as before, but find out thru the grapevine
    >> (aka a friend of one of you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the
    >> staff twice in a row. The only explaination is that the head/maitre'd is
    >> pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for you'.
    >> What would you do?

    >
    > Tip the normal way, along with the folder with the bill. More controlled
    > than slipping cash to the maitre'd (who may have thought it was for him if
    > he didnt catch to spread it among the staff).
    >
    >

    Maitre'd is the one who picked up the folder (I asked this) and was told
    'specifically' that the tips for the entire waitstaff was enclosed.
    -ginny



  5. #5
    Virginia Tadrzynski Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject


    "cshenk" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:N5Q7k.1863$%[email protected]..
    > "Virginia Tadrzynski" wrote
    >
    >> You tip again, the same way as before, but find out thru the grapevine
    >> (aka a friend of one of you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the
    >> staff twice in a row. The only explaination is that the head/maitre'd is
    >> pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for you'.
    >> What would you do?

    >
    > Tip the normal way, along with the folder with the bill. More controlled
    > than slipping cash to the maitre'd (who may have thought it was for him if
    > he didnt catch to spread it among the staff).
    >
    >

    Maitre'd is the one who picked up the folder (I asked this) and was told
    'specifically' that the tips for the entire waitstaff was enclosed.
    -ginny



  6. #6
    Wayne Boatwright Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    On Mon 23 Jun 2008 09:16:47a, Virginia Tadrzynski told us...

    > I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to you
    > for your consideration:
    >
    > You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You are waited on very well
    > by many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a generous
    > tip to either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that
    > the tip be spread around accordingly. At a later date, you go to the
    > same restaurant, the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the
    > staff treats you as if you were dirt under their feet. You tip again,
    > the same way as before, but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of
    > one of you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a
    > row. The only explaination is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the
    > quite sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for you'. What would
    > you do?
    >
    > Discuss among yourselves.
    >
    > -ginny


    Leave the tip on the table. Let the waitstaff work it out. I would never
    tip either the maitre'd or head waiter for that very reason. Results are
    unpredictable. Tipping the maitre'd for a better table when you arrive is
    another thing altogether and sometimes actually works. :-)



    --
    Wayne Boatwright
    -------------------------------------------
    Monday, 06(VI)/23(XXIII)/08(MMVIII)
    -------------------------------------------
    -------------------------------------------
    I'm not confused, I'm just well mixed.
    (Robert Frost)
    -------------------------------------------




  7. #7
    Wayne Boatwright Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    On Mon 23 Jun 2008 09:16:47a, Virginia Tadrzynski told us...

    > I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to you
    > for your consideration:
    >
    > You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You are waited on very well
    > by many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a generous
    > tip to either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that
    > the tip be spread around accordingly. At a later date, you go to the
    > same restaurant, the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the
    > staff treats you as if you were dirt under their feet. You tip again,
    > the same way as before, but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of
    > one of you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a
    > row. The only explaination is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the
    > quite sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for you'. What would
    > you do?
    >
    > Discuss among yourselves.
    >
    > -ginny


    Leave the tip on the table. Let the waitstaff work it out. I would never
    tip either the maitre'd or head waiter for that very reason. Results are
    unpredictable. Tipping the maitre'd for a better table when you arrive is
    another thing altogether and sometimes actually works. :-)



    --
    Wayne Boatwright
    -------------------------------------------
    Monday, 06(VI)/23(XXIII)/08(MMVIII)
    -------------------------------------------
    -------------------------------------------
    I'm not confused, I'm just well mixed.
    (Robert Frost)
    -------------------------------------------




  8. #8
    aem Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    On Jun 23, 9:16*am, "Virginia Tadrzynski" <ta...@enter.net> wrote:
    > I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to you for
    > your consideration:
    >
    > You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. *You are waited on very wellby
    > many different people. *At the end of the meal, you make a generous tipto
    > either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that the tip be
    > spread around accordingly. * At a later date, you go to the same restaurant,
    > the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the staff treats you as
    > if you were dirt under their feet. *You tip again, the same way as before,
    > but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of one of you kids works
    > there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a row. *The only explaination
    > is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the
    > others 'no tip for you'. *What would you do?
    >
    > Discuss among yourselves.
    >

    Most of the time I just add the tip to the credit card. If they don't
    have an equitable way to distribuite it that's their problem.
    Occasionally I leave cash on the table. When I have tipped the
    maitre'd for the seating it's been directly to him/her. -aem


  9. #9
    aem Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    On Jun 23, 9:16*am, "Virginia Tadrzynski" <ta...@enter.net> wrote:
    > I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to you for
    > your consideration:
    >
    > You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. *You are waited on very wellby
    > many different people. *At the end of the meal, you make a generous tipto
    > either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that the tip be
    > spread around accordingly. * At a later date, you go to the same restaurant,
    > the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the staff treats you as
    > if you were dirt under their feet. *You tip again, the same way as before,
    > but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of one of you kids works
    > there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a row. *The only explaination
    > is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the
    > others 'no tip for you'. *What would you do?
    >
    > Discuss among yourselves.
    >

    Most of the time I just add the tip to the credit card. If they don't
    have an equitable way to distribuite it that's their problem.
    Occasionally I leave cash on the table. When I have tipped the
    maitre'd for the seating it's been directly to him/her. -aem


  10. #10
    cybercat Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject


    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:485fcc63$0$18918$[email protected]..
    >I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to you for
    >your consideration:
    >
    > You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You are waited on very well by
    > many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a generous tip to
    > either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that the tip be
    > spread around accordingly. At a later date, you go to the same
    > restaurant, the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the staff
    > treats you as if you were dirt under their feet. You tip again, the same
    > way as before, but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of one of you
    > kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a row. The only
    > explaination is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the quite sizable tip
    > and telling the others 'no tip for you'. What would you do?
    >


    The only thing to do is tip people individually from that point on.



  11. #11
    cybercat Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject


    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:485fcc63$0$18918$[email protected]..
    >I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to you for
    >your consideration:
    >
    > You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You are waited on very well by
    > many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a generous tip to
    > either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that the tip be
    > spread around accordingly. At a later date, you go to the same
    > restaurant, the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the staff
    > treats you as if you were dirt under their feet. You tip again, the same
    > way as before, but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of one of you
    > kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a row. The only
    > explaination is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the quite sizable tip
    > and telling the others 'no tip for you'. What would you do?
    >


    The only thing to do is tip people individually from that point on.



  12. #12
    Michael \Dog3\ Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]>
    news:485fcc63$0$18918$[email protected]: in rec.food.cooking

    > I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to
    > you for your consideration:
    >
    > You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You are waited on very
    > well by many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a
    > generous tip to either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and
    > indicate that the tip be spread around accordingly.


    I always tip the maitre'd in cash, separately from the head waiter. When
    dining out in a place like that I always use a charge card and put the
    tip on the bill total. AFAIK the head waiter is responsible for all of
    the side tips. Quite frankly I would be put out if I had to be the
    accountant for the rest of the staff. Tipping the maitre'd and the head
    wait is enough IMO. There is a restaurant I used to frequent, and still
    do, but not so much, where I tip the maitre'd and then the head waiter
    in a separate transaction. From what I gather, the bartender, wait
    assistant, busser and even the kitchen staff require a percentage of the
    tip. Another restaurant I know of pools ALL tips nightly and are
    distributed weekly, on a percentage basis, to all front of the house
    staff and some of the kitchen staff. The percentage is based upon their
    hourly wages. I think the actual policy varies from house to house but no
    way am I going to give out multiple tips. 2 tips is plenty unless you are
    in a holding bar before your table is ready and someone brings you a
    drink. Of course that person should get a tip as well.

    I think it would be a huge mistake to assume the maitre'd will feel
    obligated to share the tip with anyone else.

    Michael


    --
    ""There is no federal agency which oversees levees. That doesn't exist."
    ~~BUTCH KINERNEY, a spokesman for FEMA.

    To email - michael at lonergan dot us dot com

  13. #13
    Michael \Dog3\ Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]>
    news:485fcc63$0$18918$cd[email protected]: in rec.food.cooking

    > I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to
    > you for your consideration:
    >
    > You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You are waited on very
    > well by many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a
    > generous tip to either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and
    > indicate that the tip be spread around accordingly.


    I always tip the maitre'd in cash, separately from the head waiter. When
    dining out in a place like that I always use a charge card and put the
    tip on the bill total. AFAIK the head waiter is responsible for all of
    the side tips. Quite frankly I would be put out if I had to be the
    accountant for the rest of the staff. Tipping the maitre'd and the head
    wait is enough IMO. There is a restaurant I used to frequent, and still
    do, but not so much, where I tip the maitre'd and then the head waiter
    in a separate transaction. From what I gather, the bartender, wait
    assistant, busser and even the kitchen staff require a percentage of the
    tip. Another restaurant I know of pools ALL tips nightly and are
    distributed weekly, on a percentage basis, to all front of the house
    staff and some of the kitchen staff. The percentage is based upon their
    hourly wages. I think the actual policy varies from house to house but no
    way am I going to give out multiple tips. 2 tips is plenty unless you are
    in a holding bar before your table is ready and someone brings you a
    drink. Of course that person should get a tip as well.

    I think it would be a huge mistake to assume the maitre'd will feel
    obligated to share the tip with anyone else.

    Michael


    --
    ""There is no federal agency which oversees levees. That doesn't exist."
    ~~BUTCH KINERNEY, a spokesman for FEMA.

    To email - michael at lonergan dot us dot com

  14. #14
    cybercat Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject


    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:485fce88$0$18918$[email protected]..
    >
    > "cshenk" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:N5Q7k.1863$%[email protected]..
    >> "Virginia Tadrzynski" wrote
    >>
    >>> You tip again, the same way as before, but find out thru the grapevine
    >>> (aka a friend of one of you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the
    >>> staff twice in a row. The only explaination is that the head/maitre'd
    >>> is pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for
    >>> you'. What would you do?

    >>
    >> Tip the normal way, along with the folder with the bill. More controlled
    >> than slipping cash to the maitre'd (who may have thought it was for him
    >> if he didnt catch to spread it among the staff).
    >>
    >>

    > Maitre'd is the one who picked up the folder (I asked this) and was told
    > 'specifically' that the tips for the entire waitstaff was enclosed.
    > -ginny
    >


    This is a restaurant management/staff problem, not your problem. If you want
    to talk to someone, speak to the owner/manager (general manager if it is a
    chain.)

    Most restaurants have tip sharing, so the waiter picks up the tip and tips
    out
    the bartender, etc. Tip the maitre d'hotel separately if you wish.



  15. #15
    cybercat Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject


    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:485fce88$0$18918$[email protected]..
    >
    > "cshenk" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:N5Q7k.1863$%[email protected]..
    >> "Virginia Tadrzynski" wrote
    >>
    >>> You tip again, the same way as before, but find out thru the grapevine
    >>> (aka a friend of one of you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the
    >>> staff twice in a row. The only explaination is that the head/maitre'd
    >>> is pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for
    >>> you'. What would you do?

    >>
    >> Tip the normal way, along with the folder with the bill. More controlled
    >> than slipping cash to the maitre'd (who may have thought it was for him
    >> if he didnt catch to spread it among the staff).
    >>
    >>

    > Maitre'd is the one who picked up the folder (I asked this) and was told
    > 'specifically' that the tips for the entire waitstaff was enclosed.
    > -ginny
    >


    This is a restaurant management/staff problem, not your problem. If you want
    to talk to someone, speak to the owner/manager (general manager if it is a
    chain.)

    Most restaurants have tip sharing, so the waiter picks up the tip and tips
    out
    the bartender, etc. Tip the maitre d'hotel separately if you wish.



  16. #16
    Michael \Dog3\ Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]>
    news:485fce88$0$18918$[email protected]: in rec.food.cooking

    > Maitre'd is the one who picked up the folder (I asked this) and was
    > told 'specifically' that the tips for the entire waitstaff was
    > enclosed. -ginny


    In which case I would wait in the back alley until he got off work and beat
    the **** out of him. No, really I wouldn't but... I'd talk to the
    owner/manager immediately and explain the situation. It's possible a
    dishonest maitre'd is loose with not only your money but the wait staff's
    money. I'd be pissed.

    Michael

    --
    ""There is no federal agency which oversees levees. That doesn't exist."
    ~~BUTCH KINERNEY, a spokesman for FEMA.

    To email - michael at lonergan dot us dot com

  17. #17
    Michael \Dog3\ Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]>
    news:485fce88$0$18918$[email protected]: in rec.food.cooking

    > Maitre'd is the one who picked up the folder (I asked this) and was
    > told 'specifically' that the tips for the entire waitstaff was
    > enclosed. -ginny


    In which case I would wait in the back alley until he got off work and beat
    the **** out of him. No, really I wouldn't but... I'd talk to the
    owner/manager immediately and explain the situation. It's possible a
    dishonest maitre'd is loose with not only your money but the wait staff's
    money. I'd be pissed.

    Michael

    --
    ""There is no federal agency which oversees levees. That doesn't exist."
    ~~BUTCH KINERNEY, a spokesman for FEMA.

    To email - michael at lonergan dot us dot com

  18. #18
    Giusi Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    "cybercat" <[email protected]> ha scritto nel messaggio
    news:g3ojbj$6l4$[email protected]..
    >
    > "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:485fcc63$0$18918>> You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You
    > are waited on very well by
    >> many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a generous tip
    >> to either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that the tip
    >> be spread around accordingly. At a later date, you go to the same
    >> restaurant, the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the staff
    >> treats you as if you were dirt under their feet. You tip again, the same
    >> way as before, but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of one of
    >> you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a row. The
    >> only explaination is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the quite
    >> sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for you'. What would you do?
    >>

    >
    > The only thing to do is tip people individually from that point on.

    How are you going to hunt down 6 to 10 people who served, cleared, asked to
    give them some little portion of youyr 20%? And what portion? That's why
    restaurants have it worked out beforehand and why I wonder how the head
    waiter got away with this, since he must pick up the folder a lot of the
    time. Strange he should stiff the same person twice without giving the
    staff a clue what he was doing.



  19. #19
    Giusi Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    "cybercat" <[email protected]> ha scritto nel messaggio
    news:g3ojbj$6l4$[email protected]..
    >
    > "Virginia Tadrzynski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:485fcc63$0$18918>> You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You
    > are waited on very well by
    >> many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a generous tip
    >> to either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that the tip
    >> be spread around accordingly. At a later date, you go to the same
    >> restaurant, the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the staff
    >> treats you as if you were dirt under their feet. You tip again, the same
    >> way as before, but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of one of
    >> you kids works there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a row. The
    >> only explaination is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the quite
    >> sizable tip and telling the others 'no tip for you'. What would you do?
    >>

    >
    > The only thing to do is tip people individually from that point on.

    How are you going to hunt down 6 to 10 people who served, cleared, asked to
    give them some little portion of youyr 20%? And what portion? That's why
    restaurants have it worked out beforehand and why I wonder how the head
    waiter got away with this, since he must pick up the folder a lot of the
    time. Strange he should stiff the same person twice without giving the
    staff a clue what he was doing.



  20. #20
    Sven Svensson Guest

    Default Re: Tipping. Rehashing and old subject

    Virginia Tadrzynski wrote , at 2008-06-23 18:16:
    > I had someone ask me this the other day, so I am now bringing it to you for
    > your consideration:
    >
    > You go into a a fairly chi-chi restaurant. You are waited on very well by
    > many different people. At the end of the meal, you make a generous tip to
    > either a) the head waiter or the b) maitre'd and indicate that the tip be
    > spread around accordingly. At a later date, you go to the same restaurant,
    > the head/maitre'd treats you well, but the rest of the staff treats you as
    > if you were dirt under their feet. You tip again, the same way as before,
    > but find out thru the grapevine (aka a friend of one of you kids works
    > there) that you 'stiffed' the staff twice in a row. The only explaination
    > is that the head/maitre'd is pocketing the quite sizable tip and telling the
    > others 'no tip for you'. What would you do?


    Go to a place where the tip is already included in the price.

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