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Thread: If it had only stopped at the vegetables we'd all be fine ... Humour

  1. #1
    Pits09 Guest

    Default If it had only stopped at the vegetables we'd all be fine ... Humour





    If it had only stopped at the vegetables we'd all be fine ...



    In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and
    spinach,
    with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman
    would live
    long and healthy lives.



    Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and
    Magnums.
    And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!'
    And Woman
    said, 'I'll have one too, with chocolate chips'. And lo, they gained
    10 pounds.



    And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure
    that man
    found so fair.

    And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the
    cane and
    combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.



    So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue
    Cheese
    dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened
    their
    belts following the repast.



    God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in
    which to
    cook them'.

    And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped
    lobster
    chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and
    Man's
    cholesterol went through the roof.





    Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming
    with
    potassium and good nutrition.

    Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre
    into chips
    and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.
    And Man
    put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his
    Children
    might lose those extra pounds.

    And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would
    not have
    to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
    before the
    flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.



    Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
    still
    satisfy his appetite.

    And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then
    Satan said
    'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size
    'em'. And
    Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.



    God sighed .......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

    And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health
    Service.





    THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION



    After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the
    final word on
    nutrition and health.:



    1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
    us..

    2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
    than us.

    4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart
    attacks
    than us.

    5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
    fewer heart
    attacks than us.

    6.. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and
    suffer
    fewer heart attacks than us.



    CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
    apparently what
    kills you!!!

  2. #2
    Lynn from Fargo Guest

    Default Re: If it had only stopped at the vegetables we'd all be fine ...Humour

    On Jan 12, 5:22*pm, Pits09 <spamlis...@gmail.com> wrote:
    > If it had only stopped at the vegetables we'd all be fine ...
    >
    > In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and
    > spinach,
    > with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman
    > would live
    > long and healthy lives.
    >
    > Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and
    > Magnums.
    > And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!'
    > And Woman
    > said, 'I'll have one too, with chocolate chips'. And lo, they gained
    > 10 pounds.
    >
    > And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure
    > that man
    > found so fair.
    >
    > And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the
    > cane and
    > combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.
    >
    > So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue
    > Cheese
    > dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened
    > their
    > belts following the repast.
    >
    > God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in
    > which to
    > cook them'.
    >
    > And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped
    > lobster
    > chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and
    > Man's
    > cholesterol went through the roof.
    >
    > Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming
    > with
    > potassium and good nutrition.
    >
    > Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre
    > into chips
    > and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.
    > And Man
    > put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his
    > Children
    > might lose those extra pounds.
    >
    > And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would
    > not have
    > to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
    > before the
    > flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
    >
    > Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
    > still
    > satisfy his appetite.
    >
    > And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then
    > Satan said
    > 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size
    > 'em'. And
    > Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
    >
    > God sighed .......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
    >
    > And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health
    > Service.
    >
    > THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION
    >
    > After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the
    > final word on
    > nutrition and health.:
    >
    > 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
    > us..
    >
    > 2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
    >
    > 3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
    > than us.
    >
    > 4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart
    > attacks
    > than us.
    >
    > 5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
    > fewer heart
    > attacks than us.
    >
    > 6.. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and
    > suffer
    > fewer heart attacks than us.
    >
    > CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
    > apparently what
    > kills you!!!


    ===========================

    Bwaaaahaaaaaaaaahaahhhhhhh!
    I sent a copy of this to my dietician/ diabetes educator.
    Thank!
    Lynn in Fargo

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