Thread: How's this for an invitation

Dave Smith wrote:
>
> I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
> really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of
> her neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and
> her husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef
> family had been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a
> quick roasted beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.
>
> Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
> bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one
> red and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked
> her to bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is
> also our friend's birthday.
>
> Current prices for a whole beef tenderloin around her are about $80. The
> wines turn out to be $20 a piece. My friend was not thrilled. She
> discussed it with her husband, who said screw that we'll have our own
> party her for that money. She called back the chef's wife, clarified the
> date..... ooops sorry. I didn't know that my husband had planned a party
> for me here on that night so sorry, but we can't make it.
>
> The next day she got a call from another neighbour asking if she was
> attending the party. Our friend said they had been invited but could
> not attend because her husband was having a party for her. It seems that
> chef's wife had called the other neighbour after our friend canceled
> and asked her to bring the two beef tenderloins... and two bottles of
> wine. So our friend asked the other neighbour if she was going...... no
> way !!
>
> I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
> decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
> "invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
> with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
> people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.

No Kidding!!!! Yeesh, some people! To invite someone to a party, then
to beg for the 'diggles' (high-priced ones too, at that) is a bit beyond
typical etiquette in my books. I agree - a potluck dinner is one thing,
but beef tenderloin roasts for 20 is something else!

Sky, who'd decline also

P.S. I'm surprised the hostess didn't also request sterling silver
tableware and lead crystal wine glasses in addition! <VBEG>

P.P.S. How did your friend find a nice way to decline?

--
Ultra Ultimate Kitchen Rule - Use the Timer!
Ultimate Kitchen Rule -- Cook's Choice

Dave Smith wrote:
>
> I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
> really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of
> her neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and
> her husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef
> family had been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a
> quick roasted beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.
>
> Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
> bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one
> red and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked
> her to bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is
> also our friend's birthday.
>
> Current prices for a whole beef tenderloin around her are about $80. The
> wines turn out to be $20 a piece. My friend was not thrilled. She
> discussed it with her husband, who said screw that we'll have our own
> party her for that money. She called back the chef's wife, clarified the
> date..... ooops sorry. I didn't know that my husband had planned a party
> for me here on that night so sorry, but we can't make it.
>
> The next day she got a call from another neighbour asking if she was
> attending the party. Our friend said they had been invited but could
> not attend because her husband was having a party for her. It seems that
> chef's wife had called the other neighbour after our friend canceled
> and asked her to bring the two beef tenderloins... and two bottles of
> wine. So our friend asked the other neighbour if she was going...... no
> way !!
>
> I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
> decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
> "invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
> with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
> people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.

No Kidding!!!! Yeesh, some people! To invite someone to a party, then
to beg for the 'diggles' (high-priced ones too, at that) is a bit beyond
typical etiquette in my books. I agree - a potluck dinner is one thing,
but beef tenderloin roasts for 20 is something else!

Sky, who'd decline also

P.S. I'm surprised the hostess didn't also request sterling silver
tableware and lead crystal wine glasses in addition! <VBEG>

P.P.S. How did your friend find a nice way to decline?

--
Ultra Ultimate Kitchen Rule - Use the Timer!
Ultimate Kitchen Rule -- Cook's Choice

"Dave Smith" <[email protected]> wrote

> I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
> decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
> "invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
> with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
> people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.

You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
takes no skill!

It's good for a laugh if it's not happening to you. I'm glad your
friend got out of it. Amazing concept, you throw a party and get
your guests to pay for it *and* do all the work!

nancy

"Dave Smith" <[email protected]> wrote

> I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
> decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
> "invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
> with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
> people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.

You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
takes no skill!

It's good for a laugh if it's not happening to you. I'm glad your
friend got out of it. Amazing concept, you throw a party and get
your guests to pay for it *and* do all the work!

nancy

Sky wrote:

>
>
> > Current prices for a whole beef tenderloin around her are about $80. The
> > wines turn out to be $20 a piece. My friend was not thrilled. She
> > discussed it with her husband, who said screw that we'll have our own
> > party her for that money. She called back the chef's wife, clarified the
> > date..... ooops sorry. I didn't know that my husband had planned a party
> > for me here on that night so sorry, but we can't make it.
> >
> > The next day she got a call from another neighbour asking if she was
> > attending the party. Our friend said they had been invited but could
> > not attend because her husband was having a party for her. It seems that
> > chef's wife had called the other neighbour after our friend canceled
> > and asked her to bring the two beef tenderloins... and two bottles of
> > wine. So our friend asked the other neighbour if she was going...... no
> > way !!
> >
> > I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
> > decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
> > "invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
> > with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
> > people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.
>
> No Kidding!!!! Yeesh, some people! To invite someone to a party, then
> to beg for the 'diggles' (high-priced ones too, at that) is a bit beyond
> typical etiquette in my books. I agree - a potluck dinner is one thing,
> but beef tenderloin roasts for 20 is something else!
>
> Sky, who'd decline also
>
> P.S. I'm surprised the hostess didn't also request sterling silver
> tableware and lead crystal wine glasses in addition! <VBEG>
>
> P.P.S. How did your friend find a nice way to decline?

She phoned back to check the date and then said that she didn't realize that
she as sorry but could not make it because her husband was throwing a party
for her that night. And that was true, though the decision for their party was
made later. It seems that chef's wife then called another neighbour and asked
her to bring the things that she had earlier asked our friend to bring. More
nerve than a tooth ache eh.

Sky wrote:

>
>
> > Current prices for a whole beef tenderloin around her are about $80. The
> > wines turn out to be $20 a piece. My friend was not thrilled. She
> > discussed it with her husband, who said screw that we'll have our own
> > party her for that money. She called back the chef's wife, clarified the
> > date..... ooops sorry. I didn't know that my husband had planned a party
> > for me here on that night so sorry, but we can't make it.
> >
> > The next day she got a call from another neighbour asking if she was
> > attending the party. Our friend said they had been invited but could
> > not attend because her husband was having a party for her. It seems that
> > chef's wife had called the other neighbour after our friend canceled
> > and asked her to bring the two beef tenderloins... and two bottles of
> > wine. So our friend asked the other neighbour if she was going...... no
> > way !!
> >
> > I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
> > decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
> > "invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
> > with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
> > people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.
>
> No Kidding!!!! Yeesh, some people! To invite someone to a party, then
> to beg for the 'diggles' (high-priced ones too, at that) is a bit beyond
> typical etiquette in my books. I agree - a potluck dinner is one thing,
> but beef tenderloin roasts for 20 is something else!
>
> Sky, who'd decline also
>
> P.S. I'm surprised the hostess didn't also request sterling silver
> tableware and lead crystal wine glasses in addition! <VBEG>
>
> P.P.S. How did your friend find a nice way to decline?

She phoned back to check the date and then said that she didn't realize that
she as sorry but could not make it because her husband was throwing a party
for her that night. And that was true, though the decision for their party was
made later. It seems that chef's wife then called another neighbour and asked
her to bring the things that she had earlier asked our friend to bring. More
nerve than a tooth ache eh.

Nancy Young wrote:

> "You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
> incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
> weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
> telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
> takes no skill!
>
> It's good for a laugh if it's not happening to you. I'm glad your
> friend got out of it. Amazing concept, you throw a party and get
> your guests to pay for it *and* do all the work!
>

And to do it on such a grand scale. I would throw a lot more parties if I had
the cojones to expect neighbours I hardly know to put out big bucks to feed my
friends.

Nancy Young wrote:

> "You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
> incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
> weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
> telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
> takes no skill!
>
> It's good for a laugh if it's not happening to you. I'm glad your
> friend got out of it. Amazing concept, you throw a party and get
> your guests to pay for it *and* do all the work!
>

And to do it on such a grand scale. I would throw a lot more parties if I had
the cojones to expect neighbours I hardly know to put out big bucks to feed my
friends.

On May 30, 5:50*pm, "Nancy Young" <rjy...@comcast.net> wrote:
>
> You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
> incredible. *Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
> weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? *Still. *But then,
> telling her what wines to bring?? *Hello, pick it up yourself, that
> takes no skill! *

Stories like this are confusing. At first glance they may seem
outrageous, but there can be mitigating circumstances. For one thing,
"lovely home in a nice neighborhood" may mean they all have plenty of
money and $200 as the cost of contributing to a special party for her
husband may seem insignificant to the chef's wife. For another, wives
sometimes misjudge how close the friendship is between their husbands
and third parties. She may have thought they were close enough that
they'd welcome a big role in this surprise party. Then again, the
chef's wife just may be thoughtless. I guess my point is to not be
too quick to lambaste her on the basis of a second or third hand
report. Misunderstandings between neighbors have spawned a lot of
case studies for sociologists and lawyers. -aem

On May 30, 5:50*pm, "Nancy Young" <rjy...@comcast.net> wrote:
>
> You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
> incredible. *Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
> weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? *Still. *But then,
> telling her what wines to bring?? *Hello, pick it up yourself, that
> takes no skill! *

Stories like this are confusing. At first glance they may seem
outrageous, but there can be mitigating circumstances. For one thing,
"lovely home in a nice neighborhood" may mean they all have plenty of
money and $200 as the cost of contributing to a special party for her
husband may seem insignificant to the chef's wife. For another, wives
sometimes misjudge how close the friendship is between their husbands
and third parties. She may have thought they were close enough that
they'd welcome a big role in this surprise party. Then again, the
chef's wife just may be thoughtless. I guess my point is to not be
too quick to lambaste her on the basis of a second or third hand
report. Misunderstandings between neighbors have spawned a lot of
case studies for sociologists and lawyers. -aem

On Fri, 30 May 2008 18:22:46 -0700 (PDT), aem <[email protected]>
wrote:

>On May 30, 5:50*pm, "Nancy Young" <rjy...@comcast.net> wrote:
>>
>> You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
>> incredible. *Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
>> weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? *Still. *But then,
>> telling her what wines to bring?? *Hello, pick it up yourself, that
>> takes no skill! *
>
>Stories like this are confusing. At first glance they may seem
>outrageous, but there can be mitigating circumstances. For one thing,
>"lovely home in a nice neighborhood" may mean they all have plenty of
>money and $200 as the cost of contributing to a special party for her
>husband may seem insignificant to the chef's wife. For another, wives
>sometimes misjudge how close the friendship is between their husbands
>and third parties. She may have thought they were close enough that
>they'd welcome a big role in this surprise party. Then again, the
>chef's wife just may be thoughtless. I guess my point is to not be
>too quick to lambaste her on the basis of a second or third hand
>report. Misunderstandings between neighbors have spawned a lot of
>case studies for sociologists and lawyers. -aem

I just think it's pretty outrageous to ask someone to bring something
*and* specify exactly what it will be, more than the specific cost of
it. I mean, it's reasonable to say, "bring a dish for 20 people" or
even "bring a salad <or whatever> for 20 people". It's a little less
reasonable to say, I want you to make exactly this dish and bring it
with exactly this wine.

On Fri, 30 May 2008 18:22:46 -0700 (PDT), aem <[email protected]>
wrote:

>On May 30, 5:50*pm, "Nancy Young" <rjy...@comcast.net> wrote:
>>
>> You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
>> incredible. *Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
>> weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? *Still. *But then,
>> telling her what wines to bring?? *Hello, pick it up yourself, that
>> takes no skill! *
>
>Stories like this are confusing. At first glance they may seem
>outrageous, but there can be mitigating circumstances. For one thing,
>"lovely home in a nice neighborhood" may mean they all have plenty of
>money and $200 as the cost of contributing to a special party for her
>husband may seem insignificant to the chef's wife. For another, wives
>sometimes misjudge how close the friendship is between their husbands
>and third parties. She may have thought they were close enough that
>they'd welcome a big role in this surprise party. Then again, the
>chef's wife just may be thoughtless. I guess my point is to not be
>too quick to lambaste her on the basis of a second or third hand
>report. Misunderstandings between neighbors have spawned a lot of
>case studies for sociologists and lawyers. -aem

I just think it's pretty outrageous to ask someone to bring something
*and* specify exactly what it will be, more than the specific cost of
it. I mean, it's reasonable to say, "bring a dish for 20 people" or
even "bring a salad <or whatever> for 20 people". It's a little less
reasonable to say, I want you to make exactly this dish and bring it
with exactly this wine.

On May 30, 6:27*pm, Nina <ninaNOS...@economika.net> wrote:
>
> I just think it's pretty outrageous to ask someone to bring something
> *and* specify exactly what it will be, more than the specific cost of
> it. *I mean, it's reasonable to say, "bring a dish for 20 people" or
> even "bring a salad <or whatever> for 20 people". *It's a little less
> reasonable to say, I want you to make exactly this dish and bring it
> with exactly this wine.

Sure, in most cases, but we don't really know the specifics here. In
particular, we don't know what the chef's wife had in mind for this
whole party. Chefs by nature have to controlling personalities, maybe
their wives are, too. <g>

I've certainly been asked to bring a specific dish to a potluck/
party. That's not so unusual. The wine selection is usually asked
more subtly..... -aem

On May 30, 6:27*pm, Nina <ninaNOS...@economika.net> wrote:
>
> I just think it's pretty outrageous to ask someone to bring something
> *and* specify exactly what it will be, more than the specific cost of
> it. *I mean, it's reasonable to say, "bring a dish for 20 people" or
> even "bring a salad <or whatever> for 20 people". *It's a little less
> reasonable to say, I want you to make exactly this dish and bring it
> with exactly this wine.

Sure, in most cases, but we don't really know the specifics here. In
particular, we don't know what the chef's wife had in mind for this
whole party. Chefs by nature have to controlling personalities, maybe
their wives are, too. <g>

I've certainly been asked to bring a specific dish to a potluck/
party. That's not so unusual. The wine selection is usually asked
more subtly..... -aem

"aem" <[email protected]> wrote

>On May 30, 5:50 pm, "Nancy Young" <rjy...@comcast.net> wrote:
>
>> You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
>> incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
>> weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
>> telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
>> takes no skill!

>Stories like this are confusing. At first glance they may seem
>outrageous, but there can be mitigating circumstances. For one thing,
>"lovely home in a nice neighborhood" may mean they all have plenty of
>money and $200 as the cost of contributing to a special party for her
>husband may seem insignificant to the chef's wife. For another, wives
>sometimes misjudge how close the friendship is between their husbands
>and third parties. She may have thought they were close enough that
>they'd welcome a big role in this surprise party.

And when that didn't work out, she thought the other neighbor was
close enough to welcome that role?

I've seen crazy stories like this before. People throwing a party in
a restaurant, then when it was over, dividing the bill among the
surprised "guests" ... things like that.

nancy

"aem" <[email protected]> wrote

>On May 30, 5:50 pm, "Nancy Young" <rjy...@comcast.net> wrote:
>
>> You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
>> incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
>> weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
>> telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
>> takes no skill!

>Stories like this are confusing. At first glance they may seem
>outrageous, but there can be mitigating circumstances. For one thing,
>"lovely home in a nice neighborhood" may mean they all have plenty of
>money and $200 as the cost of contributing to a special party for her
>husband may seem insignificant to the chef's wife. For another, wives
>sometimes misjudge how close the friendship is between their husbands
>and third parties. She may have thought they were close enough that
>they'd welcome a big role in this surprise party.

And when that didn't work out, she thought the other neighbor was
close enough to welcome that role?

I've seen crazy stories like this before. People throwing a party in
a restaurant, then when it was over, dividing the bill among the
surprised "guests" ... things like that.

nancy

Dave Smith wrote:
> I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
> really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of
> her neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and
> her husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef
> family had been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a
> quick roasted beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.
>
> Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
> bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one
> red and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked
> her to bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is
> also our friend's birthday.
>

>
> I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
> decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
> "invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
> with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
> people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.



That's so rudely over-the-top that I'd consider it insulting.

Since the husband is a chef, they could at least have offered to
buy the meat and ask your friend to cook it. Otherwise they are
asking your friend to provide a party for them.

Is this common in their neighborhood?

gloria p

Dave Smith wrote:
> I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
> really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of
> her neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and
> her husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef
> family had been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a
> quick roasted beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.
>
> Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
> bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one
> red and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked
> her to bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is
> also our friend's birthday.
>

>
> I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
> decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
> "invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
> with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
> people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.



That's so rudely over-the-top that I'd consider it insulting.

Since the husband is a chef, they could at least have offered to
buy the meat and ask your friend to cook it. Otherwise they are
asking your friend to provide a party for them.

Is this common in their neighborhood?

gloria p

On Fri, 30 May 2008 19:51:03 -0400, Dave Smith
<[email protected]> fired up random neurons and synapses to
opine:

<snip>

>I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
>decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
>"invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
>with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
>people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.
>
That was not an invitation, IMHO. That was a request for your friend
to cater the dinner for free.

Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
--
"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."

-- Duncan Hines

To reply, replace "meatloaf" with "cox"