FDA Prepares Nation For Switch To Digital Food FormatFebruary 17, 2009

Urging the estimated 60 million Americans who have not yet made the
transition to the more advanced form of sustenance to do so as soon as
possible, acting FDA commissioner Frank Torti announced Wednesday that
the nationwide conversion to Digital Food (DF) will take place on
Apr.17, 2009. "The only thing consumers who currently rely on analog
foods will need is a digital converter box, which you can purchase at
any grocery store," Torti said at a press conference, adding that
every American household is eligible for a $40 coupon to digitize its
current pantry. "DF offers higher texture quality and better taste, as
well as multiple spice choices and interactive capabilities. I must
stress, however, that after the deadline you will no longer be able to
eat your current food." On the heels of the announcement, President
Obama has begun pressuring the Senate to pass legislation that would
require all food to be completely wireless by 2015.